Welcome to INVINCIBLE SHE and thank you so much for visiting.
This blog is about conjuring your own INVINCIBILITY. It is for celebrating impossible personal victories, for self appreciation, humble brags and fighting off your demons, both real and imaginary. This blog is about celebrating the fight in you. It is about powering the determination to shake off whatever it is that weighs you down.
As you will read on below, my daughter and I have endured a rough few years. For the most part the past is behind us and today I have a healthy, happy and vivacious daughter. I am looking forward to marrying a wonderful man, expecting identical twins, have self built one insanely busy business from home and I have another in the works. This blog is about life after the rubbish has passed. It’s about standing on your own two feet and flipping trauma, anxiety, depression or whatever it is you may be weighed down with, the bird.
In early 2016, following a horrendous divorce and custody battle born of severe Domestic Violence, I made the commitment to write. To write often & to write loud, in graphic detail with respect to both mine and my daughter’s experiences with domestic violence, regardless of who was angered and whatever I might be threatened with.
I chose to write because I have a right to. Because the diary I began keeping during my pregnancy helped to save our lives. Not because I’m a drama queen, an over sharer or that I sought pity as I’ve so often been accused of. But because what happened to us matters. Because it was wrong and because the culture of repeat victimisation in the Australian community is alive and it is fierce.
Drafting my first public piece was terrifying in itself. Clicking ‘post’ seemed to last a lifetime. I turned my phone off for a while after, anticipating the fierce onslaught to come. The ‘oversharer’ shamers, attention seeking accusations and general hateful vitriol that can come with publicly airing an opinion of any description on the internet.
The post, however, much to the contrary of the reaction I had feared, was one of mixed sadness, shock, fierce support and of celebration. It was shared thousands of times both around Australia and internationally. It published to an Australian wide audience by the White Ribbon Foundation and Take 5 Magazine. These publications resulted in the receipt of hundreds of emails from men and women around the country and abroad. Emails sending love, best wishes and many sharing their own personal stories.
The authors of these incredible emails shared the deepest, darkest, most private moments of their trauma and many thankfully of their recovery. Then they thanked me for giving them the courage to do so, even if not in the public manner as I had done, even if just between the two of us during our private email exchange.
This healed some of my own trauma. The thought that these people had found comfort in my small act of written bravery was inspiring. It confirmed that the stories of all victims of crime need to be told, heard, understood and felt. For this reason, I committed to write, not only for the benefit of those who have endured violence. But those struggling with PTSD as I did, or those who have felt loss, suffer anxiety, low self esteem, depression or simply find that somedays, life can be a bit of an asshole.
Those who know me well know how I despise pity. They know that despite my fearfulness, I am as solid as they come. I am intentional, intelligent, observant and very well prepared. They know that I will remain that way and that every fight to come will amount to nothing more that water under the bridge.
They know that while Eva and I were victimised and abused, mistreated and scandalised, we are not victims, we are survivors and that we are a force in our own right. They know that a place within our inner circle is a coveted and inspiring one. I owe much of this to my love of writing.
I wasn’t always as strong willed, and somedays the past still feels as though it might get the better of me. But if just one sentence of mine inspires any of you, however few, then that is all the encouragement that I need to keep telling our story. I’d like to help you tell yours, whatever it is that your story may be.